Mom Strikes Again...
My mom is an "interesting" character. I'm not sure how else to sum her up. I can tell you that she likes to tell "stories", and she has a great sense of humor, and she will steal the silverware! I grew up with steak knives engraved, "Sizzler" We would laugh about it. It made for good stories of our own.
I remember my mom calling me up about the coffee glasses she would take from the beauty salon. Each time she went she would have a cup of coffee and then put the glass in her bag and take it home. I remember the time I came over to visit and she opened up the cabinet door to show me the set of SIX coffee glasses she stole from the salon. She was so proud. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her she's completely nuts! She could afford to buy glasses. She didn't have to steal. But she just looked so happy, I couldn't. I smirked the best smirk I could smirk, clenched my back teeth real hard and said, "Very nice."
I went to visit my mom on Saturday. I always get a nervous stomach when I go to visit. You never know how she is going to behave. It was a busy day so by the time we reached I was already exhausted, not the best condition to be in when facing my mom. I got there and she was on the phone for the first half hour. She didn't even say hello. She handed me a leash and waved her hand. This was sign language for take the dog for a walk. So, I did. When I came back she was just hanging up the phone. She had made reservations at a Japanese hibachi restaurant. We all got into the car. At the restaurant, I was still not feeling too well so I didn't eat much.
We got back and I had pains in my stomach and lower back. I asked my mom for some medicine. She went searching. She handed me two Mylanta tablets. I put one in my mouth and I couldn't bite down on it. Finally I did and it crumbled. I asked her to hand me the bottle. She showed it to me with her hand covering the expiration date. I grabbed it. It had expired in 01/90! It had expired 16 YEARS AGO!!!
She was laughing. "Oh, these never go bad."
Sometimes I wish I had a normal mom. Ok, I always wish that.
I remember my mom calling me up about the coffee glasses she would take from the beauty salon. Each time she went she would have a cup of coffee and then put the glass in her bag and take it home. I remember the time I came over to visit and she opened up the cabinet door to show me the set of SIX coffee glasses she stole from the salon. She was so proud. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her she's completely nuts! She could afford to buy glasses. She didn't have to steal. But she just looked so happy, I couldn't. I smirked the best smirk I could smirk, clenched my back teeth real hard and said, "Very nice."
I went to visit my mom on Saturday. I always get a nervous stomach when I go to visit. You never know how she is going to behave. It was a busy day so by the time we reached I was already exhausted, not the best condition to be in when facing my mom. I got there and she was on the phone for the first half hour. She didn't even say hello. She handed me a leash and waved her hand. This was sign language for take the dog for a walk. So, I did. When I came back she was just hanging up the phone. She had made reservations at a Japanese hibachi restaurant. We all got into the car. At the restaurant, I was still not feeling too well so I didn't eat much.
We got back and I had pains in my stomach and lower back. I asked my mom for some medicine. She went searching. She handed me two Mylanta tablets. I put one in my mouth and I couldn't bite down on it. Finally I did and it crumbled. I asked her to hand me the bottle. She showed it to me with her hand covering the expiration date. I grabbed it. It had expired in 01/90! It had expired 16 YEARS AGO!!!
She was laughing. "Oh, these never go bad."
Sometimes I wish I had a normal mom. Ok, I always wish that.
posted by blair at 7:31 PM
4 Comments:
Your mom sounds like she could be a lot of fun just as long as some ground rules are established first. In the big picture of wacky people, she sounds innocent enough.
~Mike
Hey NotBlair, AKA #59.
Thanks for visiting. You always make my day. :-) As far as normal mom's go, no one's got a normal mom. Well, no one I know anyway, especially me. That whole visiting the family thing always puts me on edge too for similar reasons. My solution? Drink heavily. ;-)
Anyway, chin up. Hope yer well.
Cheers!
Hi Mike,
Yes, she can be a lot of fun.
It's the rules she has a problem with. She's really fun at parties just make sure you hide your silverware!
Andy,
That is a brilliant idea! Can't believe I never thought of that. Next time I venture out to mom's place I will certainly bring my flask!
Yup, liquor is a sure fire cure for the traditional family visit.
Just get me wasted
and I'm halfway there
'cause when my mind is gone,
the rest of me don't care!
Actually, when I go to VA this weekend to visit them for our mutual birthdays (mine's Mar 1st)
I'm going to try to do it sober for the first time in...ever.
Right. And then I woke up! LOL
Cheers NotBlairsey!
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