Mean Old Lady
I feel a little ashamed to say this, but I had a run in with an old lady at the supermarket. I mean, you're supposed to respect your elders. Right? I guess she caught me on a bad day.
I was minding my own business, pushing my cart along when I noticed some rolls that were half price. I had walked past them, and thought I should go back and get some of those rolls. So I walked back a little and there she was in her Kmart polyester best. Scarf wrapped around her head to hide the straggly strands of grey matter that she came to know as her hair. She shot me a snare. Then she said in a tone that was so mean, so nasty, "Can you move your cart out of the way so I can get through?" I looked back at her with a shocked look on my face like no you din't!
She said, "That's right" And then I said, "I just picked up some rolls" She looked at me and just when I thought she couldn't get any nastier she blurted out, "Too bad!" That was it, I lost it. I said, "You're obnoxious!" and I didn't stop at that, "You nasty old woman!" I then went off in a different direction, down the oral hygiene aisle to pick up some mouth wash, but the entire time I was thinking I should go back, I should get in front of her again and just block her on purpose. I raced around the market looking for her, I went up the condiment isle, I raced down the frozen food section, but she was gone. It was as if she just disappeared. I finally gave up and went to the checkout.
When I reached home I was thinking that I should feel bad about talking back to the old lady, about calling her an obnoxious, nasty old woman, but I didn't. The only lesson I learned that day was to never buy rolls on sale!
I was minding my own business, pushing my cart along when I noticed some rolls that were half price. I had walked past them, and thought I should go back and get some of those rolls. So I walked back a little and there she was in her Kmart polyester best. Scarf wrapped around her head to hide the straggly strands of grey matter that she came to know as her hair. She shot me a snare. Then she said in a tone that was so mean, so nasty, "Can you move your cart out of the way so I can get through?" I looked back at her with a shocked look on my face like no you din't!
She said, "That's right" And then I said, "I just picked up some rolls" She looked at me and just when I thought she couldn't get any nastier she blurted out, "Too bad!" That was it, I lost it. I said, "You're obnoxious!" and I didn't stop at that, "You nasty old woman!" I then went off in a different direction, down the oral hygiene aisle to pick up some mouth wash, but the entire time I was thinking I should go back, I should get in front of her again and just block her on purpose. I raced around the market looking for her, I went up the condiment isle, I raced down the frozen food section, but she was gone. It was as if she just disappeared. I finally gave up and went to the checkout.
When I reached home I was thinking that I should feel bad about talking back to the old lady, about calling her an obnoxious, nasty old woman, but I didn't. The only lesson I learned that day was to never buy rolls on sale!
posted by blair at 6:39 PM
1 Comments:
LOL
An old lady flipped me off the other day. I was the funniest thing I ever saw, this 90-something year-old lady looking out the passenger window of some Cadilac flipping me off as I passed.
It was a retaliatory gesture, as I flipped the car off earlier because it wouldn't get the f*** out of the fast lane. I'm guessing her equally old husband was driving. I'll bet she's just a hoot!
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