Fun for the whole family...

Who doesn't love a Fortune Cookie?

Your Fortune Is

It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Mom Strikes Again...

My mom is an "interesting" character. I'm not sure how else to sum her up. I can tell you that she likes to tell "stories", and she has a great sense of humor, and she will steal the silverware! I grew up with steak knives engraved, "Sizzler" We would laugh about it. It made for good stories of our own.

I remember my mom calling me up about the coffee glasses she would take from the beauty salon. Each time she went she would have a cup of coffee and then put the glass in her bag and take it home. I remember the time I came over to visit and she opened up the cabinet door to show me the set of SIX coffee glasses she stole from the salon. She was so proud. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her she's completely nuts! She could afford to buy glasses. She didn't have to steal. But she just looked so happy, I couldn't. I smirked the best smirk I could smirk, clenched my back teeth real hard and said, "Very nice."

I went to visit my mom on Saturday. I always get a nervous stomach when I go to visit. You never know how she is going to behave. It was a busy day so by the time we reached I was already exhausted, not the best condition to be in when facing my mom. I got there and she was on the phone for the first half hour. She didn't even say hello. She handed me a leash and waved her hand. This was sign language for take the dog for a walk. So, I did. When I came back she was just hanging up the phone. She had made reservations at a Japanese hibachi restaurant. We all got into the car. At the restaurant, I was still not feeling too well so I didn't eat much.
We got back and I had pains in my stomach and lower back. I asked my mom for some medicine. She went searching. She handed me two Mylanta tablets. I put one in my mouth and I couldn't bite down on it. Finally I did and it crumbled. I asked her to hand me the bottle. She showed it to me with her hand covering the expiration date. I grabbed it. It had expired in 01/90! It had expired 16 YEARS AGO!!!
She was laughing. "Oh, these never go bad."

Sometimes I wish I had a normal mom. Ok, I always wish that.

A Thousand Hail Marys

It's been 15 days since my last post! So much has happened in the last two weeks but what is really sticking out in my mind is TODAY! Both of the bosses are on vacation!!! Whoohoo! Party time!! They have only been gone two days, but oh how nice it is when they are not there. While the cats are away, us mice get to play!!

We all went for lunch today. Work has been extra busy and while they're gone I do have extra stuff to do as far as dealing with all of their clients, but it's still way better!!

For some reason when I leave the office for lunch, I get giddy. We all joke around and I am lucky that everyone I work with has a sense of humor, but I get ridiculously giddy. I have this theory that I have shared with all of my office friends. Basically, my theory is this... There is not enough oxygen in my office and when I go outside I get this abundance of oxygen and therefore it makes me high.

Today, I was preoccupied with several client calls when we were walking into Chili's to have lunch, everyone was ordering. The menu had so much stuff on it, but nothing was really jumping out at me.

I overheard everyone talking about Fish Tacos while I was on a call. The waitress was coming around to me and I looked over at TJ and asked him what I should get and he was like, "Why don't you get the Fish Tacos?"




So, when she asked me what I wanted, I said, "I'll have the Fish Tacos" She looked at me funny and said, "What?" So, I said it louder, "I'LL HAVE THE FISH TACOS" and she said, "Huh?" So, I said it a little louder, "I'LL HAVE THE FISH TACOS!!" At that time, I noticed everyone around me laughing historically. Then the waitress said, "Ah, we don't have that here." I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. Not as bad as when they told Eric that the hot sauce was strawberry sauce and he took a big heaping tablespoon of it! It was like seeing a cartoon character breathing FIRE!

The Strangest Dream...

So last night I had the STRANGEST dream!! I was at my mom's house and I was in my old room. It was set up the same way as when I was a kid. Completely changed now.
My sister, who I used to share a room with growing up, was lying in her bed. I was standing in front of the mirror looking at my ass. Here is the REALLY strange part... My ass had NIPPLES!! So, I'm looking at my ass nipples in the mirror, and I say to my sister, "My ass has nipples. Do you have nipples on your ass?" So, she says, "Oh yeah, I have em too." Like it was no big deal. I woke up right after that. I checked my ass like 9 times!!! I kept feeling it with my hands to make sure there were no nipples there. I then went to the bathroom and pulled down my pajama pants and confirmed that I did not have ASS NIPPLES!! Haleluya!! NO ASS NIPPLES!!
Could you imagine???